Jersey Shore Banning Baggy Saggy Pants

It seems like “Dirty Jersey” is cleaning up its act. Ever been to or would like to visit the Jersey shore in Wildwood, New Jersey? If you do, you better be wearing decent clothing that the town will actually be wild about. Wildwood now has real life Fashion Police (take a bite out of that Joan Rivers!). Mayor Ernest Troiano Jr. has made it unlawful for people to walk on the boardwalk barefoot, shirtless, or wearing saggy pants worn 3 inches below the hips. Bathing suits worn on the boardwalk without clothing over them will also get you penalized (Warm clothes for hot weather *sounds cozy: try not to suffocate*). The fines are set to $25 to $100 for the first offense and $200 for recurring ones with a likelihood of up to 40 hours of community service in some cases. Don’t get your panties in a bunch just yet, Troiano is not the first to support the ban, similar laws have been passed banning baggy pants in the United States from Miami all the way to Atlanta. Although law experts are calling it unconstitutional, Mayor Troiano stands firm on sand:

“They say it’s a fashion statement and this is America and they have the right to dress how they want… Well, I have the right to decency. My right is not to have to look at your (derriere) if I don’t want to. I find that offensive. Go somewhere else and do it, and for every one person I lose, I’ll gain 10 more who will be glad.”

He wants the Jersey Shore to be family-friendly and refuses to be the butt of all jokes. Yet Uggs and Crocs are not forbidden anywhere (Damn you all!). Others feel this is potentially racist targeting minorities (who are known for starting the urban trend) to keep them away from the town whose racial makeup is mostly white. On a good note, overly tanned babes and saggy fake breasts a la Snooki are not illegal which seems to be the Jersey Shore trademark. And if you ladies have a problem with that, then go topless in New York, a train ride away, and it is absolutely legal to let your boobs hang free like a 60′s  bra burning feminist in the city that never sleeps. How do you like them apples?

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