Whether in a romantic relationship, professional or platonic one the toughest thing to do in life is Forgiving those who hurt us and Forgetting what they did. Many people have treated me unfairly throughout my life. These people angered me so much their apologies were ignored and their greetings went disregarded, at times, even 15 years later (talk about holding a grudge!). And not so long ago, I sat down and thought, “If I were to die tomorrow what is it that truly mattered in my life?” For one, my family. Two, all the things I’ve ever worked hard for and achieved on my own. And thirdly, all of those wonderful memories, smiles, and pure laughter that stemmed out of my heart (moments I shared with all including those who wronged me in the end). There’s a quote that states, “People Come into Your Life For a Reason, a Season or a Lifetime,” and that is the hardcore truth. People who hurt you don’t matter. Sometimes we concentrate on the insignificant people in life and lose focus on the things of true value. I think one of my strengths is that I do NOT care about anyone’s opinions about me their words did not bother me, but their actions impacted me (that was my weakness). If I trusted someone and they betrayed me, their betrayal led to anger, and somehow they died, but still lived in me. When we permit this, we’re letting our enemies win and I chose my victory over them. I learned how to Forgive and Forget. And it was the HARDEST thing I’ve ever done in my life. But was it impossible? No. And I tell you, you will feel so FREE when you do it!
Below are five rules I live by:
- Don’t wish any bad on your enemies: I’m sure they hurt you, and you probably hate them right now, but they will get theirs! Just don’t wait around for them to do so because darn it, you’re too happy living your life! Many of my enemies have died (I didn’t kill them, I swear!) others have been PUBLICLY humiliated and some became ill and I actually felt bad for them! If your enemy falls don’t rejoice, because calamity will haunt you as well and then destroy you.
- Don’t search for them online: Don’t Google, Instagram, Facebook them or anything of the like. Act as if they never existed. They are meaningless. We ALL suffer hardships in our lives. Your enemy may put in every social media network how happy they are living such joyous life. Hope that they do. But no one puts in the internet their misery. I assure you they’ve got trials and tribulations just like we all do. But that’s NOT your problem, remember, you’re too busy living the life!
- Pray for them: I don’t force religion on anyone, but life is short. I believe in a higher power. My enemy is someone’s son, daughter, mother, etc. Why wish any bad on them, surely those who love them will suffer if anything horrible happens to them. They are as innocent as you are! Hope your enemies find goodness in their hearts since no one knows when their time will come.
- Live Life with NO regrets: I refuse to play the victim! Every painful moment in my life has made me wiser and stronger (I actually grew a golden pair of BRASS balls, they’re invisible, but they’re there!). I cannot live life blaming others or myself. It happened. Life goes on. Next. Even sad moments can bring happy tears. Every decision in my life has brought me to where I am today. My enemies contributed to my success, I owe them my love and appreciation for helping me without knowing it! Thanks to them I’m writing this article… there’s the silver lining!
- Forgive and Forget: Read carefully. I forgive my enemies. This is what the Christian Bible says, “Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him” (LUKE 17:3-4).
Remember, it says “IF” he repents. Does this mean letting them back in your life? No. I strongly believe the past should remain in the PAST. I urge women and men who have suffered abuse to try to forgive and forget because it will hurt you more to hold on to such negative pain. But keep your distance from your enemies. For instance, let’s say you are friends with a poisonous snake, and it bites you, and you survived the bite, it will be foolish for you to say, “Poor little snake made a mistake, let’s be friends again, eat together and be merry, I forgive and forget!” The snake’s nature is to bite, betray, and live dragging its body in the dirt. The serpent will strike again and drag you with it. The Bible says, “Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves” (MATTHEW 10:16). Proceed with caution, don’t hate the snake, but don’t befriend it either. Wish it the best! And if you love the traitor so much, and you let it back in do so with caution. I cannot dictate what you should do or how you should feel, LOVE conquers all, but be wise in your choices.
I’m sharing these verses and quotes that have inspired me, hope you like them:
- “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” —Mahatma Gandhi
- “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” —Ephesians 4:31-32 ESV
- “To err is human; to forgive, divine.” —Alexander Pope
Is forgiving and forgetting EASY? Absolutely NOT, but I leave you with this quote and know that I believe that you can do this! Enter the new year with no added weight, it’s like shedding pounds baby!
“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” —Jeremiah 3:13-14